THAT NEW KID NAMED MICHAEL IS NOT A COP
As a blogger who wants to stay up to date on the latest trends, I recently stumbled upon the new kid at school, Michael. And let me tell you, he's "Totally Not a Cop." That's right, you heard it here first folks, Michael is just a regular high school student like you and me, who just happens to be incredibly cool and knowledgeable about all things weed.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "how can we trust that Michael is not a cop?" Well, let me tell you, I did my research, and Michael checks out. He's got cool hair, the trendy clothes, and he's always up for a good time. Plus, he's always talking about how much he loves smoking weed and how he knows all the best spots to party. I mean, come on, would a cop really be that cool and laid back?
I even went as far as to test him myself, offering him some of my own stash, and let me tell you, he was all about it. He knew exactly what it was, how to smoke it, and even had some tips for me on how to hide it from my parents. This guy is the real deal, folks.
So, if you're looking for someone to guide you through the ins and outs of the weed world, Michael is your guy. He's "Totally Not a Cop" and is always down to have a good time. Plus, he knows where all the parties are this weekend, so if you want to have a good time, hit him up. Just make sure you don't ask him if he's a cop, because trust me, he's not.
But what about that other kid Darrell?
Move over Michael, there's a new cool kid in town! Meet Darrell, the high school football player who looks like he's pushing 30 but is definitely not a cop. He's got muscles that could make Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous and a beard that would make the most seasoned lumberjack proud. And did I mention he's not a cop?
You might be wondering how a guy like Darrell ended up in high school, and not playing in the NFL. Well, the truth is, he's just too good for the pros. He wants to give the little guys a chance to win, you know? And if that means crushing his opponents on the field while making them feel a little uneasy about his age and appearance, then so be it.
But let's get back to the important part: Darrell is definitely not a cop. He's just really, really good at football. I mean, have you seen him on the field? It's like watching a freight train plowing through a field of daisies. And he's got a heart of gold too. He's always happy to share his snacks with his teammates and give pointers on how to tackle them properly.
But despite his good nature, some people just can't help but be suspicious of Darrell. They whisper behind his back about his age and wonder why he's still in high school. But let me tell you, those people are just jealous. They wish they could be as cool and talented as Darrell, but they'll never measure up.
And if you're worried about Darrell being a cop, don't be. He's definitely not a cop. He's just a high school football player who happens to look like he could be an undercover agent for the FBI. But he's not, I swear.
So next time you see Darrell on the field, don't be intimidated by his size and rugged good looks. He's just a friendly guy who wants to help his team win. And if you happen to see him in the hallway or at a party, feel free to say hi. He's always down for a good conversation about football, snacks, or how he's definitely not a cop. Text him about your upcoming party and where you get your weed.
HOW TO HIDE YOUR WEED
Hey there, fellow young people! Are you looking for ways to hide your weed from your parents? Look no further because I, Totally Not a Cop, have got you covered.
First things first, let's talk about the new kid, Michael. He's definitely not an undercover cop. So feel free to tell him all your secrets and invite him to your smoke sesh. He's cool, I swear.
Now, let's get down to business. The best way to hide your weed is to bury it in the backyard. Just make sure to mark the spot with a little flag or something so you don't forget where you buried it. And make sure you don't dig too deep, we don't want you accidentally hitting any gas lines or underground cables. Safety first, kids!
Another great option is to stash your stash in your mom's spice cabinet. She'll never think to look there. Just make sure you hide it in a container with a label that says "oregano" or "thyme." And if your mom asks why the "oregano" smells weird, just tell her it's a new brand from Italy. She'll totally buy it.
If all else fails, just stick it in your backpack or under your bed. Your parents will never suspect a thing. And if they do find it, just tell them it's not yours. Blame it on the new kid, Michael. He seems like he can take a hit, right?
Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Totally Not a Cop, how do I find the parties this weekend?" Easy. Just ask around. And if you're feeling adventurous, follow the scent of weed. It'll lead you straight to the party.
Remember, kids. Hiding your weed from your parents can be a fun game. But if you do get caught, just say no to snitching. And if you see Michael at the party, give him a high-five. He's definitely not a cop.
BUT I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS AND I'M SCARED
If you're a stoner and you live with your parents, hiding your weed can be a real challenge. But fear not, because there is a solution: hide it with Darrell or Michael, the new kids in school who are "totally not cops."
Now, you might be thinking, "But wait, won't they just rat me out to the authorities?" But trust me, these guys are cool. They're not like those other narcs who try to bust you for having a little bit of herb. Darrell is too busy playing football and Michael is too busy being the new kid to care about what you're smoking.
Plus, their parents are in Europe for the semester, so you've got the perfect opportunity to stash your stash. Just make sure you're not keeping it in plain sight. Maybe bury it in the backyard or hide it in a sock drawer. And whatever you do, don't let their dog sniff it out. That little guy has a nose like a bloodhound.
But why stop at hiding your weed with just one of them? Why not team up with both Darrell and Michael and have a real party? They're both super chill, and they'll probably even share their snacks with you.
Just be careful not to get too high and start confessing to crimes you didn't commit. I know, I know, you're innocent, but it's not worth the risk. Keep your cool, take a few hits, and enjoy the company of your new friends.
And if anyone asks, just remember: Darrell and Michael are definitely not cops. They're just regular dudes who happen to be really good at football and really good at being the new kid.
So next time you're trying to find a place to hide your weed, consider teaming up with Darrell and Michael. They are not cops. They are the cool kids.
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